Dat boy lookin' like dipper, i see what you doin'.
I don't get it? What am I doing?
I remeber seeing this animation on youtube and I liked it a lot.
It is very clever and I love it.
One thing I can say is that sometimes there is just too much animation and it makes things look awkward. A few things i can suggest is make the frames go on for a shorter amount of time (like, on ones) or just have less frames for some actions. Like, you don't always have to have your characters moving all the time, you can have them slow down a bit.
Hey Zachselsior! Really appreciate the feedback, thanks! And yea I agree with you on the animation- sometimes I did animate too much ahah, I'll keep the advice in mind, thanks again, glad you enjoyed it!
Well, because of the rumors of zero star reveiws getting deleted, I'm just gonna give this three.
Alright now I'm just gonna give you my points off the top of my head that i don't like about this cartoon.
There are way too many video game references that it distracts from the cartoon, especially that pokemon battle part. A simple "Werewolf! I choose you!" would have sufficed. Also all of the sound effects ripped from other games also felt pretty distracting.
That character with the missing tooth really annoyed the hell out of me and how his character was pretty much just "giggle squee! ecks dee!" If you're going to make a random character who bends reality in the stupidest ways, then you need to go crazy with that and ramp it up even higher.
Ok, that "vampire with sunblock" joke really fell flat because IT'S NIGHT TIME IN THE BACKGROUND.
All of the other main 4 characters are also pretty much the same, you need to give your characters some more traits to make them more memorable. The only other one i could really remember is that british guy because he's british.
Also, another thing that is important is that all of your characters (excluding le random man) all sound the same, and no I don't mean that they sound like they have the same voice, I mean they all have the same flat monotonous personality to the way they speak. Think of it like this, all of your characters are each a different instrument and they're in an orcastra, your cartoon is this orcastra, and the whole time they all play just one note, with the occasional flute solo from the random man. Now, i don't know about you, but that sounds like a pretty boring concert, so it doesn't matter HOW many voice actors you have for a project, they gotta have some variety in the notes of there lines, a good example of this actually comes from your cartoon where you have Sir pelo in it, that man knows how to use his notes, and probably the only funny part of this cartoon.
Why did you even have Rick appear in the background? it was not needed and unfunny, it just basically feels like your trying to get some nerd cred, and now it just makes me wonder how many other cringe worthy cameos I thankfully missed.
My last critique is how the FUCK did this take a whole year to make? I mean seriously, all of the characters have the same head shape, same eye shape, and same body type, not to mention it has a shit ton of tweening and a plethora of short cuts and parts where it's just one frame with some narration. I made a 13 minute long sonic parody in 8 weeks with minimal tweening and I can say that it's at least more animated than this, not to toot my own horn here, but I was really hoping, just HOPING that there was at least one part that was really well animated to justify this, and when the fight scene came along I thought to my self "Oh boy! this is it! show me what you got!" and then it happened and i was severely dissapointed.
I didn't want to hate this, I wanted to like it, but you just make it hard to do so.
Oh yeah, one last thing, I absolutly loath your intro, the roomates logo spelling itself out is pretty much just ripping off of Edd's world, you can't deny that, also It might be just me, but that 8-bit music really gets on my nerves, it sounds like the Silver Surfer's OST but worse.
Also you've been working on your webseries for like, 4 years? that's almost as long as me and I think it's time you got some wake up calls and really start improving your art.
I'm only being so hard on you because I was also once a young lad who ripped off Edd's World, and I want to see you improve.
This is pretty good because this pretty much explains how I feel about TOME.
Hadn't heard of TOME before now- thanks for letting me know about it.
The animation and art is really good, but the writing is an abysmal mix of Chris Oney's, Psycicpebble's shitty writing and shitty memes.
Just a simple video for simple fun, but thanks for the feedback.
New grounds is not for lets plays, try youtube.
I usually like your guy's videos, but this one just feels really preachy and just reaching in general.
I have a soft spot for low poly animation and I have a soft spot for 3d and 2d animation mixed together, good job!
Alright here we go.
The backgrounds are absolutely amazing and I was just gushing over how great they were and they really set my expectations high for this animation
Then I saw how the character actually looks and how they were animated and it made me :( because they looked like they were drawn really ameaturly
the bight lines can work in dark spaces, but in places like the bar scene it doesn't really work, well, I mean, it's for some reason brighter for some characters than others, like the black guy.
Either way, you probably shouldn't call this an "origional animation" if you're going to balantly steal characters from other shows and shoves them in the background, you should at least be a little bit more subtle about it, like, say for example change up there designs to look similar from it and not explicitly rip them out from there respective shows, because when you do that it takes me aback and ruins the immersion for me for a little bit, I then have to have a little 10 second adjustment period to get back into it.
The bar fight could have been done better, it was pretty much only key frames and animation swipes, some inbetweens would have helped.
The part where they were hopping on to the motorcycle was embarrasing to watch, I mean the animation right there went to literal slide show levels, I mean, they were just singular colors, it should have been even easier to animate all of that!
I'm giving this a 3 out of five for the pure fact that I was absolutley blown away with how amazing the backgrounds were and how stunning the after effects were, but the characters should have been drawn better so that they could reflect that, because when characters are drawn crappily in front of amazing backgrounds it can be pretty jarring.
I understand you only had a month to do this, but maybe some things could have been balanced here? Or maybe not because the presentation of everything other than the characters and andimation saved the film, and then some, so I guess all I can say is, good job, and I hope your next animation is even better.
Thank you so much for the constructive criticism! Yeah, this was a rushed project because of the amount of time I had. I had school work and only had April break and sometime during the weekend. If you want to check out the deleted scene of the original beginning, check out Cartoon Lounge on YouTube!! I'm also only 15, and this is also only my 3rd animated short film, so I'd say I made lots of progress from my first short film a few months back. I'm not really stealing the characters from other anime, but using them as like a little cameo or something along the lines of that. They're still Lupin and Jigen. The backgrounds in the beginning was when I was being more patient with the project and not worrying too much about the deadline, but as time became more scarce, it felt like a gun on the back of my head and myself telling me I have to get this done and into the film festival before the due date or else I'm dead. If I didn't have any restrictions, then you'd be seeing more gorgeous backgrounds and animation. I'm pretty sure my next animation is going to be better, as it always seems so far. But thank you for the response! Make sure if you want, to follow me for future content!
It's ok, just a little stale, like a yumy cracker.
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